I have finally figured it out.
Jay is a very sensitive boy. He cries all the time. Instead of using his words when frustrated, he cries. Instead of negotiating with Lola, he cries. Instead of brushing off a minor scrapped knee, he cries. He has cried everyday of his life. WHen Jacy was born, I read "Secrets of a Baby Whisper" in which he was perfectly classified under the "Sensitive Child.' He needed to nap at a certain time, he needed a daily routine to feel comfortable, he just needed balance to get through the day.
It has always bothered me when a family member, particular my father, would comment on his sensitivity, "Give me a week and I will turn him into a man." My father proudly guaranteed over the summer. I even spoke with a renowned child psychologist, Dr. Ray and he said, "Your sensitive boy will be a terrific husband." People are great at commenting but no one has ever offered any advice.
But, I have finally figured it out on my own.
He is five and we have a "secret." He is allowed to cry when physically hurt and all other times he has to try using his words. If he makes it through the day as a big boy he will participate in the "secret." It is working. It is working very well. Our "secret" is that he is able to stay up and extra 1/2 hour in the evening. I put the girls to bed, walk down the hall, and I give him a hand signal through his door in which he tip toes downstairs with an enormous grin. During this "Secret" time he plays with the husband on the computer, helps me tidy up the house, or we watch a bit of the Animal Planet on TV. He loves this time away from his sisters and feels incredibly special to be awake with us. His crying has changed dramatically. I can see him physically holding back his tears and struggling to use his words. I am so proud of my big boy.
"Mama, I am so happy God made you my Mama. I love having a secret with you every day."