FAMILY DRAMA & Apolonia's Staycation. Lessons learned. PDF Print E-mail
Written by OHmommy   
Thursday, 03 January 2013 00:00

Some of you have asked why we moved to Chicago after what seemed like a picture perfect life in Cleveland. I mentioned months ago that I'd prefer to keep our situation private for the sake of our children. What our children know now is the short story version of a year long family drama. One I am comfortable sharing with you in a summary. After twelve years of my husband working alongside his awesome mother (the front office manager) and father (the owner/dentist), his mother passed away and we knew that his father would re-marry as soon as possible. And he did! Mavel Tov! It was imperative for our young family to secure something legally on paper before that happened because my husband had only word of mouth agreements. Needless to say no negotiations were offered and we were on our own. It was an emotional year to say the least. More so and more importantly, we researched staying in our beloved Cleveland and starting a new dental practice, moving abroad to somewhere exotic or re-locating to Chicago where I had family and quickly realized that if we were given a second chance in life we would do it closer to a close-knit support system - something that was greatly missing in our lives.

 

That was a mouthful and something I've kept inside for some time.

 

Are you still here?

 

Good! Pull up a chair.

 

On the flipside, my children are really beginning to understand the importance of family and even schooled me this week, when we were taking care of nearly 90 year-old Apolonia while my parents were vacationing.  Remember Apolonia? She was the one that shopped for stilettos at age 86 and said "Now that I have so many choices, my feet don't agree." Bless her. My mother and her sister forced her on a plane to America, rescuing her from a life in a Polish retirement center because they couldn't imagine their aging mother being alone.

photobabcia1

 

I took care of Apolonia this week and it was... eye opening.

 

 

Apolonia: I am all alone.

Me: What do you mean?

Apolonia: I had four children and they all left me.

Me: But. You live with your daughter and your other daughter.

Apolonia: But I am all alone.

photobabcia3

 

Me: You have seven grandchildren, three great-grandchildren, three daughters and son-in-laws.

Apolonia: But I live alone.

Me: Look! Those are your great-grandchildren stealing your bon-bons.

Apolonia: I am not alone!?

Me: No. You are not alone. You are around family. You live with family. We are family.

Apolonia: Can I have a chocolate too?

photobabcia4

 

Apolonia might not know which way is up or down; but, my kiddos were pretty adamant about bringing her bon-bons (everyday) and her favorite American dinner of pizza just to make her happy. The kiddos quickly realized that I lied to her and ever since then, I've been a wreck. I skipped a Sunday (she must go to church on all Sundays) and told her it was a Monday.

 

Kiddos: How can you lie to family?

Me: WE were so busy.

Kiddos: Too busy for family?!?!

Me: Good, God.

Kiddos: Yup. Thought so.

Me: Apolonia is clueless!

Kiddos: But we aren't!

 

 

I was busted by my children; but at the same time, never more proud of them. We made a good move coming here - these little lessons we learn are timeless and oh so very important. I hope I'm surrounded by adoring family like Apolonia is at age 90. What a good good life.

Last Updated on Thursday, 03 January 2013 21:14
 

Comments  

 
# Jessica 2013-01-03 01:24
This made me cry. Such a perfectly rounded post. I'm sorry you went through what you did but you have been an shining example of how to behave in the middle of a really bad situation. I hope this year is wonderful for all of you!
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# Elizabeth 2013-01-03 02:38
I thought of Leo Tolstoy's quote when I read your post. Nothing like family drama but we all have our own unique brand of it. I admire your perseverance and devotion to your husband, children and family. I think it's so nice that you and your children are hanging out with your grandmother. I am sure that it is trying but they will remember her and that will bring you comfort.
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# amy 2013-01-03 06:49
You know how much I like you and your family. Thank you for the happy tears. You are so lucky to be able to go and have your children know their great grandmother. She is one of a kind and so are you.
Hugs and love
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# father muskrat 2013-01-03 09:13
Glad y'all are readjusted and doing well in Chicago. You can be our tour guide at BlogHer '13!
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# Laurie 2013-01-03 09:31
Apolonia is clueless... be WE aren't. Oh my! I don't even know what to say to that. Other than it's true... our children really do teach us just as much as we teach them! ;)
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# Naomi 2013-01-03 10:51
BUSTED by your children. I love YOU and your adorable - FREAKIN' ADORABLE - children! Thanks for sharing some of the story!
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# Lindsay Y. 2013-01-03 12:08
As someone who has move their family across State lines more than once, for job purposes (less the family drama), I know what a huge adjustment it is for all involved. The hurt, the unknown, and the excitement of new beginnings. So glad you all agree it was the "right" move for your family - there is great peace in that. BTW, Apolonia - she is precious. What a great example you are living for your children!
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# Marta 2013-01-03 12:08
She is very lucky to have so much family with her. We should all wish to be so lucky and loved!
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# Amber 2013-01-03 13:30
Nothing like the holidays to bring family drama to all of us. You are NOT alone!
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# kakaty 2013-01-03 15:28
I adore your Apolonia stories and I'm so happy your kids are getting to know her. And that you are all settling into a life with supportive and fun family members all around you. :)
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# Elaine A. 2013-01-03 21:05
I'm so glad your kids get to spend time with her. And I'm laughing that they called you out! HA HA HA!!
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# Cynthia Biancbi 2013-01-03 22:18
Oh my goodness, your sad and upsetting family drama is not at all what I had imagined! I'm so sorry that you have had such a heartache to endure but it is clear that you have found your way to demonstrate for your children what a solid, functional family does for all its members: it cares for them! I'm so happy for this outcome to your story. A truly happy new year is ahead, I'm sure!
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# Alexandra 2013-01-04 00:43
I love all of this. The lemonade from lemons, the rising from the ashes, the children calling you out.

This: so wonderful. How wonderful, from the dark, light.

Very very happy with the choice you made: truly proud of you, because it's not an easy one to make.
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# Jennifer 2013-01-04 08:34
Thank you so much for sharing some of your story. I have wondered what happened to make such a big move. It makes sense now....I am so glad you made the choice to relocate, as tough as it has been. Love that you are with family, being helped by family and helping family. Love the Apolonia stories :)
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# cyndy 2013-01-04 21:30
I wish you nothing but happiness in your new home! I believe you have the gift of making the best of even not-quite-ideal situations.
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# Cindy 2013-01-05 22:53
So glad it was nothing but dentistry plus family business drama. I have been following your blog for some time and had made up a story in my mind that was much worse. Glad you shared. I love your blog and my niece's. She has three kiddos too. I have noticed you both are so busy you don't post often enough for me with all the activities three kids attend. My great-kids (I am not a grammie yet) are 10, 8, and 6. With all the stuff kids do today it's a wonder you have time to post at all. Thank you for your blog. It's fun for me.
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# Margie 2013-01-06 02:16
I have to admit that I have been dying to know what precipitated the move, and like other readers, had much more, made-for-tv-movie scenarios imagined. I'm sad that you had to go through this upheaval, and what sounds like, betrayal from those who you should never have to worry about that from, but happy to see that you and your family are thriving in Chicago. Happy New Year!
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# Sarah G 2013-01-12 20:23
Your life in Chicago sounds really fantastic! I try not to judge others decisions, but I'll just say that it must've been SO hard for your husband to lose his mother and his father's remarriage so soon.
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Author

Pauline Karwowski.

Is a self proclaimed globe trotting, minivan driving, SAHM stiletto ho.

Happily married mother to 3 Cleveland natives: Jay the son, Lola the daughter, and Fifi the banshee.

Now in Chicago, IL.

The content on this blog is the opinion of the blogger.

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