Jesse and I first "met" when my eldest and her youngest were in kindergarten. I say "met" loosely because I had a preschooler attached to my knee and an infant attached to my hip that year. I was in survival mode and don't remember "meeting" many people. The first time I really connected with Jesse was when our children were in first grade. One night while waiting for the elementary school's open house to begin, I stood sheepishly in the corner of the hallway and Jesse waved hello. Surely she wasn't waving to me (I knew no one) so I looked behind to see who she was waving to. Only there was no one there. She waved again. I lifted my hand and pointed to myself in the awkward are-you-waving-to-me motion. The rest is history.

I never told this to Jesse but her simple hello and conversation afterwards were a turning point in my life. Jesse taught me (that one lonely evening at open house that seems like years ago) how easy it was to befriend someone. It couldn't have come from a better teacher too because Jesse has a beautiful soul. I not only admire her but I inspire to be more like her. Sure, everyone knows a "Jesse"- the confident mom of older then your own children whom runs a tight ship and has amazing kiddos. But Jesse is so much more. There's something about her - something extraordinary. I briefly mentioned on my blog last week about sitting around a bonfire with Jesse. I always adore my time with her as she is a wealth of knowledge. What I didn't mention is that I begged her to write a parenting book because I would be the first in line to read it.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that not only is a book in the works; but, she has a good start online with her "Internet Safety Courses".

I'm honored to hand over the microphone to my beautiful friend.

Jesse:

I was recently sitting around a bonfire with a blogger we all know and love (guess who?) and the conversation turned as it often does to the question of whether or not to allow our children to own a mobile phone. Or at a minimum; what age seemed appropriate, blah, blah, blah.

Our favorite blogger (aka Pauline) wanted to know what I thought about devices and age. I have the benefit of two extra streams of experience: I have a teenage son AND I teach Internet Safety to tweens and teens.  Double yikes!

Whenever I get this question, I answer with a question:  Why does your child at ___ years old require a phone? At times, there are perfectly legitimate reasons like: travel between mom’s house and dad’s house, a long commute home on public transport, or they’ve begun driving.  Check, check, and check.

On the other hand I have heard some of these answers over the years (not kidding):

• ·         She’s the last one of her friends without a phone – and I felt badly
• ·         She loves pink and I couldn’t think of anything else in pink to buy her
• ·         I ran out of Christmas gift ideas
• ·         He wants to play Words with Friends and he was messing up my score

Here’s the thing – our children at 8-14 years old are rather dim-witted. And I mean that in the nicest, kindest way. My son is a straight A’s honor student, but he’s dim as a busted bulb when it comes to emotional and behavioral self-awareness. This is developmentally appropriate; they’re not supposed to completely understand emotional context or behavioral consequences at say, 11 years old.

And yet, we hand them these devices (let’s add laptops, tablets, and gaming devices to the mix) which are wi-fi enabled and then we walk away. The fact that they’re “playing” in their bedrooms give us some warped sense of security.

These children have no idea what they’re doing. They don’t understand that if they drop their pants, and take a photo of their bits and send it along on SnapChat that they can be charged with “creation of child pornography”, once it’s sent out they can be charged with “distribution of child pornography”. Seriously.

Why would children know that? As their parent did YOU tell them that? You probably didn’t even know it yourself until just now. This is the point dear gentle readers; we must become educated. We must know the answer to the question they haven’t yet asked before they ask it.

Soooo, I’ve developed a series of Internet Safety courses which are all online. All you have to do is dial in on a particular day and time, and you’ll see my mug on your screen. We’ll chat live via phone conference number and I’ll break it all down for you.  The good, the bad, and the genital, I mean - ugly. 

Use the code BLOG13 to get $5 off the cost of each Internet Safety course, making each one just $15. It really is a bargain. 

So come join me, and we can get nauseous together! But don’t worry, I’ll hold the barf bag, and in true besties fashion Pauline will hold your hair back. Because we love you, we really do – you just need to WAKE THE HELL UP.

I’m Jesse Cruz –

• ·         I blog at  Do Your Job Blog
• ·         I’m a social media strategist and instructor at OvernightGeek University
• ·         Check out all of the Internet Safety Courses

Feenie has been enrolled in a progressive half-day kindergarten program this entire year. Like all the progressive schools in Chicago there are no report cards and kindergarten is entirely "play based", meaning all they really do is play. When asked what she did at school all day, her answers vary from "playing cats" to "building wedding cakes in the sand" and even "built an air conditioner from recyclables".  They received little to no reading and writing instruction. There was a deemphasis for workbooks, textbooks and worksheets. This. Is a HUGE change from our old school in Ohio. The older two were in a full-day program that was very heavy in reading and writing and pushing of worksheets. Both of them were expert readers/writers by the end of kindergarten.

This was Lola after one month of kindergarten:

This is Feenie after nine months of kindergarten:

I'm very aware that I shouldn't compare and I'm told that first grade in our progressive school is when everyone catches up and takes off because the focus is purely on reading/writing, so I'm not that worried. Besides that, we absolutely adore our school and the kiddos are extremely happy there. The blessing of a progressive school is that it's the epitome of "no child left behind" and their entire curriculum is rooted in learning by doing, at an individual pace. They have year long thematic units that focus on critical thinking and problem solving. This is where I see a huge difference. It's been an incredible year for my fourth grader - whom for years, on this blog, I've been chronicling our struggles with school even publicly noting in 2011... that I felt that my child was left behind. We are in a very good place, even though my kindergarten can't read very well LOL.

So my kindergartner might not be able to read/write like her siblings did back in kindergarten; but, boy can she figure things out fast and have a million ways to execute things. Maybe it's because she is the third child and has always been in a position to figure things out on her own but her progressive education has fueled this special trait even moreso.

"I KOT A RAKON."

"I caught a raccoon."

If you can read Polish, you understood this post. Zlapalismy Raccoon, zroblismy zdjecia i zawiezlismy do lasu.

"I LAT GO RAKON"

"I let go raccoon."

"I LAT GO RAKON AT SOKELGS"

"I let go racoon at Skokie lagoons."

"AT RUN FAST AD WE WOCH BABBY BIRD"

"And we run fast and we watch baby bird."

Feenie wrote this journal entry at school the day that my father and her "kot a rakon" (my father set up a trap overnight, per her request, to see what would foolishly walk in). In the morning they stood above the raccoon wondering how to let it go and Feenie came up with many solutions but encouraged my father to drive to Skokie Lagoons and let it out so it could be reunited with nature. The two of them drove in his car with the caged raccoon down to the lagoons to set it free and "had to run fast" home to watch the baby birds in my parent's backyard because she loves to see them grow.

Her journal entry, however mangled, will be framed and presented to my father for father's day. It's the first journal entry that really captures her love of nature and her special relationship with her grandfather that is like-minded. I think it's adorable and a treasure.

Last week I had a conversation with my good friend Anna about how I would not let my children use Instagram until they reached their teen years. My argument... let them develop confidence in real life before tackling it online. It was brilliant parenting in my honest opinion. I remember the "carnation fundraiser" in junior high - a dollar a flower, to be given to anyone you wanted. I had a rude awakening at Monday morning's sixth-grade homeroom when Cammie the cheerleader received twenty-three carnations and I had none. Not one. I blame the liver pate sandwiches my mother packed me for lunch.

Confession: I follow a handful of blogger's tweens on IG for cuteness factor & personal "research".

Reality: Not much has changed since my sixth grade homeroom.

Main Point: Everyone wants to be LIKED.

I started this blog to share stories of our everyday life with my family (that was scattered about the globe) before the days of email, instagram, facebook, twitter and skype. My baby brother introduced me to the idea of a "blog" and so I wrote my first blog post to stay in touch.

The tides have changed and now my children, away from their friends, have found that snail mail is slow and time consuming. Although always welcomed! Friends-of-the-kiddos have admitted that they have letters written and ready to be mailed out (but never mailed them because of A, B, C excuses that we all totally understand) - we just got a beautiful bundle of snail mail from our distant family in Michigan. It made our day. Nothing better than people reaching out to show they care.

But. Things are instant, now.

And that's why I allowed my nine-year-old on Instagram.

Daughter: Cruising down lake shore drive in my dads convertiable.

My brother: Always a good day when you are cruising down the lakeshore!

My sister in Houston: Sounds like an awesome day. I always wished I had a convertible. How was your run?

Daughter's friend #1 from Ohio: I have a covertible and I miss you so so so much.

Daughter's friend #2 from Ohio: So cool! Misssssssss you.

Daughter: I misssss you guys too!

She has six people (three friends and three family) following her on her private account that I control and monitor. It's a hoot to follow and it's heart warming to see the life-long relationships she is making through her adorable conversations. Relationships take two people and I really hope that this IG trend sticks around for awhile. It's much easier to stay in touch.

Last week I wore sweaters and this week I've been living in tanks. That's spring in Chicago for you!

The end of the school year is crazy chaotic in our household with about a million and three social events on our May/June calendar.  Take today for example. My third grader had a pasta party because she's running in Chicago's Girls On The Run 5K tomorrow so I needed a "backyard family venue" outfit that would take me from that, to the fourth grade graduates party at a pavilion overlooking Lake Michigan in the evening.

I kept it simple.

New white cropped pants from Limited (on sale now for $38.43 - wish I paid that price!) that are my go-to summer pants. They seriously go with everything in my closet and feel like wearing yoga pants. A loose fitted $15 tank from Forever 21. And because I'm well aware that black and white is totally boring - I popped some color in with my shoes. The super duper comfy Crocs Adrina ballet flat in yellow. I added some serious bling and splurged on a charm bracelet from CUSP that pairs nicely with my three year old Kors watch that I wear daily. I was reluctant to pay so much for the bracelet but the Needless Markups sales associate gave me a "Jewish lesson for the day" and told me that it's important to take care of myself.

I needed to hear that because I, as a mom, am constantly putting myself last; but, the extra bling and color in my outfit made my day.