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Written by OHmommy
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Wednesday, 01 September 2010 00:00 |
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For the last thirty months or so I have lovingly referred to Feenie my-awesomely-animated-third-child simply as The Toddler here on my blog and in real life. I've greeted my husband, upon his arrival at home each night, with the "you'll never believe what The Toddler did today" at least eight hundred and twenty-five times during those months. Jeff, an only child, upon that greeting usually glanced around the house making sure the four walls around him were still in tact before letting out a sigh of relief. "What didn't the Hurricane Feenie do today?"
The bio on my front page reads "happily married mother to 3 Cleveland natives: Jay the son, Lola the daughter, and Fifi the toddler." And just above that, it states "a self proclaimed globe trotting, minivan driving, SAHM stiletto ho."
Feenie is no longer a toddler and I no longer drive a minivan. All other descriptions still apply. Can you guess which one of those changes makes me weep?

"It's okay, Mama." Her most infamous last words as a toddler preschooler. Next thing you know, she'll be saying "Chill out, Ma."
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Clue: I don't miss the minivan. At. All. And can't get used to describing her a preschooler. Oh my gosh, she's a preschooler. Waaaa......
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Last Updated on Wednesday, 01 September 2010 08:25 |
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The Emmy's: Suave GNO 2010 |
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Written by OHmommy
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Monday, 30 August 2010 00:00 |
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The other night on Twitter (after entertaining good friends and their kids at an impromptu "let's clean out the fridge" themed backyard bbq) I asked online peeps how often they had get-togethers at their own homes. I was surprised to learn that I was a hosting whore and not everybody had company over allthetime. I love to host any chance I get (like "let's clean out the fridge" par-tay). Not that you asked for my opinion, but I will tell you it anyways... entertaining friends at night with or without kids is not only all kinds of awesome for the adults but also a valuable teaching lesson for children. The lessons taught are endless but my most favorite one is "treat friends like you would want to be treated and they will come."
Which brings me to....

.... a re-cap of this years Emmy's party sponsored by Suave. Last's year is here. This year my camera flash ran out of batteries and I resorted to using the one attached to the camera. Blah. Can you see the difference? Also, and moreso, apparently I chop off my hair at the end of the summer. The smile is the same, "so happy to have friends over!"
Food from Maggiano's that not only delivered to my house but also took over the setting-up process with help from my ambitious blogging assistants, all being over seen by Julie the head of Beachwood's Maggiano catering was life saving. Julie had the patience to answer every single question my kids had. Brava. (Note: Suave gave me a food stipend but I can't help by telling you how freaking awesome the catering department of Maggiano was and that each one of my guests had second helpings.)

The ladies of Salon Blu in Mayfield Village gave red carpet worthy up-dos while we watched the Emmys. And fancy manicures on the side. Every guest left with new ways to style their hair using Suave products.


Local Cleveland bloggers in attendance: www.alllacqueredup.com, www.domesticextraordinaire.com, http://blog.iheartcleveland.com, http://mymanagedchaos.blogspot.com and www.kakakakaty.com.
Thanks to #SuaveBeauty for treating Cleveland area bloggers and local Classy Chaos commenters to an awesome night of great food, fun up-dos and great products. We had a blast!

Usually, after one of these "sponsored" blog posts my bestest friend in the world in Chicago will call me on the next day and ask, "Do I really need that product? Is it as good as you say?" From one girlfriend to another: the Rosemary & Mint shampoo from Suave is just like the fancy Aveda version I have been religiously buying since 1999. Pinky swear. No heavy build-up and the same amazing smell. I am really bad at lying.
Disclosure: Suave paid for the food and the salon services and provided products for each guest. All opinions are my own.
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Last Updated on Monday, 30 August 2010 07:46 |
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Because I don't have enough to do. |
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Written by OHmommy
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Thursday, 26 August 2010 00:00 |
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The older two kiddos are in elementary school full time and now the three-year-old is awaiting her first day by asking every six-point-three minutes throughout the day, "when I go to mine pa-we ska-ool?" Coincidentally I get asked "what are you going to do with all that time alone when everyone is in school?" at least six-point-three times each day by family, friends and complete strangers. My husband, always on the cutting edge, asks "are you gonna get a job?"
First on my child-free agenda is visiting the potty without an audience and maybe adapting "rest-room" to my vocabulary like the majority of civilized Americans. Later followed by actually chewing my lunch. While sitting down. I might end the morning by driving my completely silent car (which is no longer a minivan thankyouverymuch) to no place in particular just for giggles. Insert jazz hands here. I have grand plans for the first day "with all that time alone."
And even greater plans for those days that follow.
From updating family photo albums seeing that the last one was printed in two thousand of oh seven to changing the face of downtown Cleveland with Amelia. Super secret idea we stumbled upon on our eight-hour roadtrip to the Waldorf Astoria last month for BlogHer10. In between those two enormous life changing projects I am going to publish a children's book. I am. I will. Because it sounds way more interesting then finally tackling the organization of my linen closet. Or the basement play room. Or the garage. Insert first-world panic attack here.
Here's where you (crossing my fingers) might come into play. I need an artist to draw simple illustrations. Preferably someone like me who is a passionate parent in need of a project, who wants to be recognized and leave their fingerprints for future generations to see. I am desperately seeking a talented artist that is able to work fast under an impending deadline. Like whipping out twenty drawings this upcoming week of a deadline. I like simple colored pencil kind-of-like-children-looking drawings. Although, if your fingers work best with oil paints then bring it on. Since I am on a shopping diet I can offer a negotiable stipend but the notoriety that comes with a published book that will be well distributed (email me for secret details - you will not be disappointed) is for sure priceless. I hope to begin a partnership for more ideas that I have. Ideas that are currently taking up most of the "must organize kitchen junk drawers" sections in my head. Send all serious inquires to classychaos at gmail dot com immediately. Like right now.
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Last Updated on Thursday, 26 August 2010 07:10 |
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Apolonia's interview for a green card. |
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Written by OHmommy
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Friday, 27 August 2010 00:00 |
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This week eighty-six-year-old Apolonia was driven down to the immigration office in Chicago, by her daughter. Apolonia spent the greater part of her morning choosing dresses for the field-trip into the big city. Driving through the streets of Chicago she wondered why on earth people needed such large buildings that scrapped the heavenly skies. At the office, a Polish translator was on hand to ask Apolonia a series of questions regarding her green card application. She answered each question without missing a beat. I don't even know if this is legal to post. Heh. We shall find out. It's based on the word of mouth anyways. I can see the headlines already "86 year old great-grandmother from Poland DENIED green card based on a mommy blog." Here's a sampling of the interview because in all honestly I want my children to remember her (based on her observations):
Interviewer: Have you ever been active in the army?
Pola: No, I was far too busy being a hard working seamstress and raising my four lovely children.
Interviewer: Have you ever been involved with any terrorist groups?
Pola: No, I was a housewife my entire life. I had a good husband named Stanislaw and he treated me well.
Interviewer: I can tell he treated you well. You are lovely.
Pola: Phsaw.
Interviewer: Have you ever been a criminal?
Pola: No, no, oh Jesus Mary Joseph no. I was a housewife. A wife of the house and not a criminal.
Interviewer: What year was your daughter born in?
Pola: 1923? 1938? I'm getting old and my memories fade. Your memories will fade too, young man. (My mother, her daughter, was born in 1954)
Apolonia's three daughters, three son-in-laws, seven grandchildren and three great-children are anxiously awaiting to see the status of her green card. Don't report her because we've really gotten used to her.

Apolonia in America with my three kiddos.
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Last Updated on Thursday, 26 August 2010 23:40 |
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Do bearded dragons have backbones? |
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Written by OHmommy
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Tuesday, 24 August 2010 00:00 |
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The problem with having a child who saves every nickle and dime is that they often make grandioso purchases such as concrete garden statues or inflatable water slides that require a third car garage just to store or living animals that survive on crickets gone wild. One would hope that the mother of said child would finally grow a backbone somewhere on the journey.
In the meantime. The money-saving child's latest purchase:

No. He didn't fund a new science room at the elementary school.
Through private birthday donations, he recently expanded his room to include a new reptile nook located beside the amphibian display. He introduced "Froggie" to "Rex" the Australian Bearded Dragon that feasts on collared greens and crickets and needs a minimum of twelve hours in 80-110 degrees dry weather.

"This is the best day ever, Mama. I can't stop smiling!"
But really, how can you blame me for being so spineless after seeing the sheer delight in his eyes? Besides. Crickets are still ions cheaper then frilly bows, sparkly nail polish and fancy tights that his sisters "need" to survive.

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Last Updated on Tuesday, 24 August 2010 22:24 |
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