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My husband and I got into a heated argument yesterday, in front of our children.
"Stop making excuses! Excuses are for the weak!" I shouted.
"But. You help everyone else and never me!"
"Whatever. Don't go there needy-only-child!"
"Seriously." He rolled his eyes.
"I help you every time you ask. Who stayed up late designing postcards for the office?" I turned to him in the minivan. "If you need help, just ask!"
The three kids sat together in the second row of the car and laughed out loud. We very rarely argue, rare enough that in the last eight years I can count on one hand the number of scream fests we've displayed before our children (my husband just said, "If that."), so the children laughed in confusion and begged for us to address each other by our pet name they regularly hear, "My Love."
"If you need help wiping in the potty. Just ask me, My Love." I joked.
And. That was the end of it. I'm highly motivated to complete something when fueled by negativity that attacks my character, it must be an immigrant thing. "Have you gained weight?" From my mother, magically melts away the pounds. "You never finish anything!" From my father, forces me to take one-photo-a-day-for-one-year. "You are such a bad friend." From no-one but if someone said that I would drown them with a cupcake delivery. Really, I could go on, but you get the point... it's not something I am proud of, or demonstrate to my children. It is, what it is.
The argument climaxed that afternoon, stemmed from a conversation we had on a very lovely date night at swanky Bar Cento with two of Cleveland's cutest couples on Saturday night.
"What do you do?" The husband of one couple asked me.
"Nothing really. I'm the typical east-side SAHM."
"Oh. She blogs." My girlfriend interrupted.
"Yes, I guess I do blog." I acknowledged not knowing she knew. Sh!t, everyone knows now. Which makes it no fun to talk about people and give them the correct descriptions. You know. For the readers to visualize.
"Really? So what do you blog about?"
That last question opened up an entire conversation about business, social networking, google and all things computers. I watched as the savvy business men, who pay upwards of $1,000 a month for a company to maintain their business facade online, whip out their iphones for a google search on "classy."
"Impressive! You are on the first page!"
"Amazing! With only one word. Classy."
"Thanks. You should google search CORNEA WITH HERPES. I'm on the first page too." Side note: very classy to admit you have Herpes at a dinner date. Tha'ts awesome and how I roll.
"You have done so much with your blog. And your husband doesn't even have a working website for his dental office?"
Which is how/why my husband and I found ourselves in a verbal match inside a minivan on a Sunday afternoon in front of our children. That made them laugh out loud and their laughter reminded us we were totally out of character. Kids are good like that.
"You should finish your resume this week. What you've done in three years of blogging, is great. I know you want to work."
"Thanks. I will totally build you a kick-ass website. Free of charge."
"Oh, I can pay you back. My Love." He winked.
"Hold your horses needy-only-child!"
And that is how. This weekend. I set my husband up with a shiny new business gmail account, new business domain name, new website built from scratch (with hidden tags that optimize google searches to put his business on top) and with some minor tweaks from the help of Mark the website should be the most perfect business card online overtaking any google searches for "Cleveland dentist" or "family dentist in Cleveland" or "dentist in Cleveland whose wife is bonkers."
I will be paid in stilettos not-in-bed much to my husband's dismay but/and am so thankful I answered, "So. What do you blog about?" that night that I tooted my own horn. Because it forced me to help my husband's business and also forced me to perfect my resume. For a SAHM of eight years who blogs it's pretty quite amazing: three TV appearances, being quoted in major news publications, page rankings, google searches, syndicated posts on huge websites, one of the keynote speakers at BlogHer 2009 and also a speaker in a panel .... all of which happened because of my hobby, for fun. That I can add to my silly resume. I really have learned a lot. Toot. toot.
Is it premature to scream, "I love what I've done!"
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